Friday, July 21, 2006
[13] enlistment..
today was his day of enlistment. didnt went along with him. couldnt. his parents are there too. so cannot skip lesson also. or not will get black mark, as what darling said, especially in his dad's eyes. that's something i dont want. i do want them to accept me. anyway, went for class as usual. was about 10 mins late, but then mrs lu not in class still. so cannot be consider late also. haha.
on the way to school, was on the phone with darling, no matter how difficult is it to talk on the train, we still did. after which, he went for his lunch. then msg me about 1138hrs to let me know he's out of home. starting then, my mood change from bad to worse. after the tutorial, just before she marked attendence, i went to the toilet. the one nearer the 2258 was washing, so walk back to the one beside 2251. then i called him, he was already walking to the bus interchange. couldnt help it, i cried alone. just for a while. dry my eyes, went back to the class. then, class ends officially, mrs lu went out of the class. so after sy and sondi copied my notes for the tutorial, they didnt take note of the change to the last part we went out of the class. guess karl saw us walking out, he came out too. asked if i was okie. but i wasnt. i was kidding myself. stopped to talk to him, but in the end was he standing beside a crying me, trying to comfort me. then sy and sondi came. sondi went to stand near the water cooler and sy was beside me. got karl back to class since his has not end. then i calm myself down and went down to fc4 with sy and sondi. juan and scor has went down already. decided to eat ban mian since my tummy was aching. but couldnt finish it. was too sad to eat it. was trying desperately to control myself not to start crying again. tried to eat as much as i can, but just couldnt. in my mind, all i have is him. but tears only stayed in my eyes and never roll out. was still early, went to see the guys (vernon, don, weisiang, yokfoh, kw) play badminton and table tennis. scor and myself sat at one side talking. until about 1350hrs, went back to sb for MA1 lecture. mind was a bit wandering off too. actually today's lesson end at 1500hrs, but didnt want to go home so early..cause if i end lesson early, i will be out with darling, but today, want also cannout.. so clash karl's FMA and MR until 1645hrs. haha. they were funny.
Karl, Sy, Scor thanks for comforting me today. was really unstable today. thanks.
darling, i miss you a lot today. and it's only the first day. i know i've been crying this week, especially yesterday and today. guess more than the first half of the year. or probably since last year. cant remember. but i know one thing for sure, i miss you and i love you. i want you to take care of yourself. i want you back to me. get enough rest. make good friends. all the best dear, it's a new journey that i will accompany you go through. no matter what happens. karl jokes that no matter how much he said today to tell me not to think so much, nothing change in me and a msg from you, i become happy. then he said, no wonder you are my boyfriend. darling, you are very important to me. i love you.
ciao
shir
2353hrs