Saturday, July 28, 2007
[97]
went for this scholarship exhibition with darling at suntec city today. but the companies there are mainly the government-linked companies. after that, we took lunch at pepper lunch and talked about the scholarship and darling's intention of going to uk to study.
darling's intention has caused me to be in a dilemma. on one side, i want him to go and try his best to get into imperial college. afterall, imperial college is ranked no. 9 when nus is ranked no. 19. the difference is big. i do want him to go and study there, get the exposure and have a greater chance of getting a better career. but, i cant bear to see him go there for so long. life will be so different without him beside. we can only meet like once a year, if darling decide to come back during his vacation. communications between us will be tough. i dont know what to do too. well, it still depend on whether he will be accepted by them or not. we shall see again. there's nothing much i can do also.
anyway, feel rather emo these two days. bd survey is halfway done, but as usual, she's not around and the best thing is that it seems like my group is the one doing and thinking of questions and asking the other for their opinion. not only that, today, i get a feeling that actually his dad doesnt really like me, which turns out to be quite true. i dont know how to handle my own feelings also, with darling intention, projects, and now i'm 90% sure that his dad doesnt like me. what can i do? it's difficult to stop tears from falling. i'm trying hard. i'm really trying. my heart aches and my eyes welled-up when i think about it. i need a hug. i need a tight and long hug.
should be sleeping already. i think i better start to learn to be independent. i thought i was anyway. but it seems like it's the opposite. i'm dependent on my darling.
i love you dear. i really do..
love,
shir
0013hrs